5 Simple Ideas for Making Another Mama’s Day

simple acts of kindness

Somewhere along the way I seem to have lost the ability to put myself first, there is always something else that appears much more important – children, husband, school, housework, work, shopping, phone calls, emails… some days even finding enough time to just wash my hair is a struggle.

Finding me time as a mum can be hard! For me, it’s all about little everyday moments of indulgence that I can squeeze in somewhere between school drop off, rocking the baby to sleep, taking a conference call and hanging the washing. That is just my everyday reality right now.

And I know that I am not alone. So many of my mama friends are so busy thinking of and planning for the needs of everyone else that they push their own needs to one side and just get on with the day. And so many of us are also struggling with that niggling of self doubt, guilt or lack of confidence when it comes to our decisions and choices and actions – the ones that we are called upon to make every single day as parents.

In just the past few weeks I have had discussions with mama friends who are juggling everything from a new reality of family life with a child with allergies to the question of whether it is time to wean a toddler from breastfeeding (and if so, the least traumatic course of action to do so). There is one struggling with loneliness as she struggles to re-adjust to life at home with a new baby and another trying to find peace with the decision not to keep trying for a much-wanted second child after a long, heartbreaking journey of baby loss. There is one coping with the demands of a return to study, another to full-time work.

hearts

The one thing we all have in common? Just trying to do the best we can with what we have for our own family. I have been thinking a lot recently about what an awesome job so many of my friends are doing when it comes to this daily, family juggle. Which also got me thinking about how awesome it would be to surprise them with a little unexpected encouragement next time I see (or speak) to them. After all, my mama friends are vitally important to my own sanity as a mother!

So here are five simple suggestions I have come up with for making another mama’s day…

1. Make contact:  I often think a true friendship is one where you can pick up where you left off, even when it has been months or even years since you have seen each other for a good, long chat. These easy friendships are so important but any friendship can be difficult to maintain when distance, a change in circumstances or just the everyday busy-ness of life makes demands on our time and attention. If you have a good friend that you haven’t spoken to for ages (or even one that you know just needs a little extra encouragement or support right now), why not make contact today. And while you are at it, why not tell them what a great job they are doing – a compliment or word of encouragement from a good friend can go a long way to making a mama feel special.

2. Give the gift of food: One of my most dreaded daily decisions is that of what to cook for dinner! Then there is the actual preparation and cooking with a velcro baby hanging off one leg. Why not give a friend a night off from the kitchen by arriving for a visit with dinner cooked for her family? Or go all out and organise a mamabake with a small group of friends so that everyone goes home with a batch of homemade meals already prepared.

3. Offer to babysit, take her kids or swap kids: During our recent school holidays, a friend had Immy over for a playdate with her children for a morning and it was amazing how much I got done with just one little person in tow (especially when that little one had a nap!) Even just inviting a friend over for lunch and a play date could make all the difference to their (and your) day.

4. Give a small, everyday gift: This summer we were blessed with an oversupply of tomatoes and cucumbers in our vegetable garden and I really enjoyed surprising friends with a small offering of homegrown produce. If you bake, a loaf of homemade bread or batch of mini muffins that can be frozen for lunchboxes is a lovely offering for any busy mama. Even picking up milk, bread and eggs before heading over for a visit might just make all the difference to your friend’s day.

5. Spoil a friend with an unexpected treat: It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant – a block of nice chocolate, flowers from your garden, a packet of exotic tea, a magazine. I have recently used this great idea of giving a re-useable coffee cup to a number of my coffee-loving mama friends that I know have a daily commute or walk their children to school and I know how much this small gesture has been appreciated each time.

Don’t get me wrong, I am far from the perfect friend and this list is as much a reminder for me as it is for anyone else! I just like the idea that a small, random act of kindness could make all the difference to a friend’s day. I know it would to mine.

What would you add to my list of suggestions?

4 Comments

  1. What about swapping kids on a daily basis. When my youngest was about 2. A few neighborhood friends and I made a round robin. Everyday we each took a turn with the kids for about 2-3 hours. We only did it for 4 days a week but, for 3 days we each had 2-3 hours for ourselves to do what needed to get done.

  2. Margaret Elvis says:

    I think Christie you just described what life is like just being a mum although these days perhaps there are more pressures on mums than years ago? We only had telephones (no, we didn’t have one when my kids were little) and the radio to listen to. No TV until my eldest was about 4 y.o. so children had to play to keep themselves occupied. Gee, things really were very different back in the 1950s weren’t they? I think I am glad I was a mum back then, rather than now, when we walked everywhere and things were so much more relaxed than they appear to be in today’s very modern world.

  3. It does feel lonely and overwhelming sometimes. These are great ideas for connecting with other moms and finding support from other women in the same boat. thanks.

  4. My grandchildren live 500 miles away. I often SKYPE when dinner is being cooked. I sing read books and talk to the girls ages 1& 3 1/2. We are close and mom gets some time for herself. Win win

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