Second Guessing…Again!
I am doing it again, second guessing myself!
Does it never end?
This time around it is (once again) about sleep – surely sleeping and eating must be the biggest contributors to parents sprouting grey hairs…at least when they are babies? – and it reminded me of a conversation I jotted down as potential blog fodder when AJ was just three months old…
I was at the shops this past weekend when I was reminded of a very important parenting truth. As I hushed my grizzly bub, rocking her pram and saying to her, “You are tired and just really, really need to go to sleep, ” another mum overheard and made me smile when she responded, “Hasn’t she read the book, then?”
Oh yes, how many times have I lamented that my baby didn’t come with with a manual? Instead something changes – in this case she is waking a lot again, and early, oh so, so early – and the crisis of faith in my own parenting ability hits again. I rush to the stack of 4227 baby books I have mysteriously accumulated over the course of two babies looking for some tiny gem of wisdom that I might have missed the other 333 times I have done this very same thing.
I question myself – if only I was tougher. Or softer. Or co-slept. Or control cried. Or fed to sleep. Or rocked to sleep. Or enforced this routine. Or that one. Or her own routine?
Maybe she is sick? Overtired? Not tired? Hungry? In pain? Teething?
I JUST WANT TO FIX IT!!! And then go back to sleep!
But she is not broken and she does not need fixing.
Instead I need to remind myself (again) that if anything is constant with small people, it is that just as you get a handle on one particular issue, the whole scenario will change.
Hopefully for the better.
Phrases, “This is just the season we are in. This too shall pass,” run on fast forward around my tired, befuddled brain.
I give myself the standard pep talk about how I am doing my best for my baby right now with the resources I have available. I know my child best. I need to trust my own judgement.
I close the books.
“This is just the season we are in. This too shall pass. This is just the season we are in. This too shall pass. This is just the season we are in.”
This is the stuff I know to be true.
But I also know…I will keep second guessing myself!
What is your biggest parenting challenge right now? What do you do when you feel like you just don’t have the answers? Are you a second-guessing repeat offender?
Related Posts
- Musings on Motherhood: The Second Time Around
- You Are Your Child’s Strongest Advocate…Whatever Their Age
- Pressing Pause
- Things I Had Forgotten About Life With a Newborn
What a sweet, honest post. I love mommies who are secure enough to be honest about how difficult it can be! My third s 9 months and I’ve struggled with his sleeping practically from the start. I just keep thinking that some day, things will change, because they always do. I remember fretting about my older two sleeping, as well, and now all that worry is a distant memory. Doesn’t make it easier in the moment, but does bring hope into the picture!
I completely relate to this right now! My third is 6 months old and it’s a tough slog sometimes with the sleeping (or not sleeping I should say!) and thinking if I just did this differently or that, or did nothing, or everything… things would be different/easier! but I know too that exactly as you say, it just is this way for now, things change and move on and this too shall pass. You are not alone.
Love this post. When faced with a parenting challenge, I tell myself that as long as I follow my instincts and connect with love, this too shall pass in around 3 months. I hadn’t thought to call it a season but you’re spot on there.
Good luck with the sleeping. A mumma needs her rest so she can be her best. 🙂
I love your mantra! Thank you for the encouragement 🙂
Oh she is beautiful! I found the best thing was hiding the clock that way I had no idea what time or times I was waking up so it never felt as bad! I have a school kid, a preschooler and a toddler and they all present their own challenges but it mostly about trying to survive the three of them at once! 😉 lovely to rediscover your blog x
That is good advice, I try so hard not to clock watch, Bron!
I hear you & feel your pain! And each new developmental milestone brings a fresh round of self-doubt & questioning. My biggest issue at present is saying No & sticking with it when the tantrums start. I’m quite firm & will stick with my No whilst trying to use distraction to divert attention from what toddler wants. Unfortunately other adults in my home are more likely to give in. Thus leading to toddler choosing them over me, & me doubting my approach & beliefs. Ahh, the pain of motherhood. This too shall pass 🙂 Good luck & I hope the sleep patterns are back to normal soon
Thank you so much for the reminder. We are currently going through the “battle of the wills” season. I hope it will pass soon because I don’t know who cries the hardest, the little child or me (usually in the dark).
Hopefully you get some sleep soon.
Second guessing is the occupational hazard of motherhood… We never stop second guessing our choices and ourselves. Reccently this mantra helps curb tis hazard somewhat – I have enough, I do enough, I am enough