“But Mummy doesn’t laugh.”
I don’t even remember the context of the conversation that my eight year old was having with her Dad when I overheard the words but they stung and they’ve been replaying themselves over and over in my head in the days since.
It’s not that I can’t see her point.
Lately life has been hard. Overfull. Worrying. Rushed. Stressful. All consuming. Some days it’s all I can do to grit my teeth and get it done.
None of which sounds like much fun. It doesn’t sound like happy. And it most certainly doesn’t sound like laughter. And that scares me. I don’t want to be the sad mum, the grumpy mum, the stressed, overtired, unhappy mum.
The mum who doesn’t laugh.
One throwaway comment. Four small words. So much power.
I am choosing to believe they have the power to transform.
I am choosing happiness, as cliched as that sounds. In so many ways happiness feels like this big, incomprehensible concept – finding your life’s happiness, where does one even begin?!! – but maybe it’s not. Maybe happiness is the small things, the tiny moments, the everyday events. Not tomorrow or next week or next year but the tiny moments in today.
The happiness of my 4 year old gifting me the crumpled, yellow dandelion flower she found growing in the grass.
The happiness of spying leaves of red and orange amongst the green of the trees.
The happiness of wearing a pair of favourite shoes. Or a necklace. Or even taking the time to put on lip gloss.
The happiness of the sun shining on my back on a cool, Autumn day.
The happiness of that first sip of coffee in the morning.
The happiness of time shooting the breeze with a friend.
The happiness of closing the door on the mess and leaving it for another day.
The happiness in impromptu, lounge room dance recitals and playdough cookies and bedtime secrets and ticklefests.
The happiness of the sound of laughter. Theirs and mine.
This is the everyday happiness I am on a mission to find.
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