Mum 2 Mum: Juggling
What is Mum 2 Mum? Mum 2 Mum is a place where as online friends we can share a little of our own experiences, so why not pop in for a cuppa and join the conversation.
Some days I feel I do it well, others are a dismal failure but everyday feels like I am performing a juggling act.
Child, husband, home, work, family, friends, life. There is a lot to squeeze into each 24 hour period, and I kind of like to sleep for a few of them too!
How do you manage the daily juggle? What are your tips for getting it all done and how do you prioritise?
Please share as I am sure that I am not the only one who needs help getting through the ‘to do’ list today!
I think it’s more difficult for parents of young children to find time than those without young children. Before they start school, there’s meal times, bathing, grooming, and playing… and that’s before you even get to the laundry, vacuuming, and other parental and spousal duties. Once they start school, you can add homework to the list.
I think the best way to deal with all of the crap, is to stop expecting to be so perfect. You have to realize that you can’t be everything to everyone. Pick and choose your battles and you will have more energy to complete the things that are important to you and you alone.
Unfortunately my middle name is “be everything to everyone!” Thank you for the advice 🙂
I think I allow myself some days to be slack, where I feel I dont need or rush to tackle everything around the house, and to just see where the day takes us with lots of ‘enjoying the moment’ times with the kids and no obligations, but then I have other days where I feel the need to get lots done and the kids have to potter about for themselves which is perfectly fine – and very good for them – to do! If there are other bigger projects or unusual tasks to undertake on top of everything else I try and plan the week so I have a day or two to achieve this, then have some down time (i.e unstructured days) either side of getting it completed so as not to feel overwhelmed by too much running around.
When all else fails – multi-task like a maniac then have a good lie down or a whinge to a sympathetic ear!!
The “enjoying the moment” days are the best kind and quite essential aren’t they? 🙂
‘Multi-tasking like a maniac’ seems to be the theme for me this week!
Right now we just moved and there are boxes everywhere! I’ve learned to not let the little thing bother me, and put health and sanity first. So if I need to take a break I do. Right after we moved, everyone was exhausted – even our toddler – so we took it easy for a few days and I think we need even just a couple more days … 🙂 before the unpacking madness ensues.
On moving day after all the boxes, furniture, etc were transferred to our new house, a friend of ours did a few things before she left — she put a tablecloth on our kitchen table and set it up, she put sheets on our beds and then she said “A place to eat, a place to sleep – that’s all you need. The rest can wait.”
What a lovely friend, moving can be so stressful and tiring for a family and it sounds like you have adopted a very healthy approach to getting unpacked and back to normal.
One of the first things I learned as a new mum was how unimportant housework is when you have a baby to look after. Having said that, if I see sunshine in the morning I’m often known to get 3 or 4 loads of washing done by lunchtime! But as long as we have a good meal on the table, and I can find a path through the toys to cross the room, and we don’t let the dishes pile TOO high, I can generally let the other stuff slide and do it in little bits at a time. My friends and family have accepted that I’m a bit of a slummy mummy, and when I recently had a bit of a meltdown and whinged about our perpetual mess my dad said “In 20 years your kids won’t remember how tidy your house was, or how many gleaming surfaces they could run their fingers over. They will remember that you played with them, always had time for a cuddle, and that they grew up in a house full of love”, and I think that’s the most important thing. Like Daisy said, if we have something big planned, I generally try to have a quiet day either side, although it’s not always possible. And I’m getting better at asking for help if it’s just too much for me to handle. With baby number 2 on the way I’m going to have to practise that one some more!
My question Mithra is, who do you ask for help when you need it? This is one I really struggle with as friends and family all seem to be in the same boat – way too busy all of the time.
These are great questions, but today I have nothing to offer! It’s one of those days. I’m not succeeding in juggling and haven’t even started the ‘to-do’ list. I’ll be avidly reading other comments for some ideas! Some days it just seems like a tsunami of chores and activities.
Me too!
I am a full time working parent, and I also want my 4 year old to remember fun times we had together. So I arranged my work schedule to be 7 am to 4 pm. I am home at 5 pm and play/do activities with my daughter for about an hour and a half. What helps is that my husband is very hands-on and helps with cooking and other errands. The flip side of working full time is being able to afford a gardener and a house cleaner who both come once every two weeks and help us keep our house and garden in decent shape.
It sounds like you have developed a balanced system which works for your family 🙂
Oh, please don’t ask that question today. I recently accepted a new job (that I couldn’t bring myself to decline because it’s doing something i’m passionate about) and will soon be working full time until the end of the year. I’m telling myself i’ll be able to juggle it all if I focus and am super organised, but i’m so worried I won’t be able to. I know I’m going to have to priortise big time and ensure that all my non-work time is focused on family. I think feeling torn about all the juggling is probably a common feeling for a mum …
Congratulations on the new job, Tricia, how exciting. I am sure that you will find a way to make it work.
I think Mithra made a good point. You need to prioritise and work out what things are the most important for you and your family. The most important thing for our family is eating healthily, and so my focus is having good food available for my hubby and kids. If that means the dusting doesn’t get done as often, then so be it. Saying ‘Yes’ to help is also something all mums must learn! You’ll be surprised how willing those close to you are to help out. And I find sometimes that even though I’ve done a terrible job sometimes with the juggling act, all I need is an ear, a sympathetic one, and a pot of tea. Then it starts all over again next week.
A hot cup of tea is my ‘come back to centre’ amongst all of the craziness!
I read a great article at Simple Kids on this just yesterday 🙂 – http://simplekids.net/balancing-work-and-home/ I love the ‘Start your day by eating a frog’ analogy!
I also find that my part-time job works best for the whole family when I work Mon, Wed and Fridays, giving us some ‘down time’ days in between.
Thank you for the link, Laura, I am off to check it out.
Stuggling with the juggling at the moment. And I don’t even have a (paid) job! It seems to go through stages though; sometimes the parenting and domestic duties seem overwhelming, the house is a mess, the kids are fighting, I’m exhausted… And other times it all seems relatively easy. I think it’s possibly related to my energy levels – and how busy my husband is with work, oh, and the weather!
No great tips I’m afraid Christie, but it seems to me you do a pretty fantastic job with all those skittles you keep up in the air 🙂
Your point about energy is really relevant to me, Sarah. I have always been so jealous of those friends that seem to be bundles of energy, moving them forward through their to do list with determination and without the procrastination which always stops me in my tracks when I am tired.
Firstly..I don’t think we can do it all…I think the trick for me is a little from the “for them “list, a little from the “for me” list and a little from the “cause I have to “list.