7 Reasons Not to Leave Hospital with the Baby Blues
” ‘The blues’ is a term often used to describe a range of emotions that up to 80% of women will experience during the first week after giving birth. This will most commonly be around the 3rd to 5th days, being mainly attributed to this sudden hormonal shift, compounded by all the adjustments that come with caring for a new baby.” ~ The Blues-About, birth.com.au
I experienced the hormonal highs and lows of the baby blues after the birth of both girls, with day 5 after birth an emotional roller-coaster of hypersensitivity, over-tiredness and complete unreasonableness.
I remember that with Immy this coincided with her requiring testing for jaundice, and my teary first-time-mumma response of complete terror, thinking there was something terribly wrong with my baby. Immy was fine and interestingly AJ also suffers a touch of jaundice but it was bought to our attention much earlier (ie. before the baby blues hit!) and I was able to process the information and my concern without the same level of emotional intensity (though I am sure that having been there before and being a more experienced Mum also made the prospect a little less scary).
This time, the baby blues coincided with our being due to come home from hospital. Fun? Not! So here are my seven reasons not to leave the hospital with the baby blues…
1. You might find yourself crying because you’re exhausted. After all, nursing a newborn who believes day and night are completely interchangeable is somewhat tiring.
2. You might find yourself crying because you wonder how you’ll do it all and be enough. Because… you’ve never been a Mum of two before…your big girl needs time with you and you are just so tired…your husband is so happy you are home…{insert list of other unreasonable expectations placed by yourself upon yourself here}.
3. You might find yourself crying because you’ve done more in one morning than you have in the proceeding five days…well, apart from giving birth that is. Not surprising given that you return home to a house where a new floor was laid throughout your living areas the day before your baby was born.
4. You might find yourself crying because you’re hurting. And there is no one to automatically bring you drugs every few hours.
5. You might find yourself crying because you’re happy. Listening to Immy serenade AJ with a self-composed melody had me in fits of tearful laughter. Cue more hurting – see point #4.
6. You might find yourself crying for absolutely no reason at all. It’s just the hormones talking!
7. You might find yourself crying because you’re truly grateful for all that you have. Even if your constant stream of tears belies your gratitude.
Fortunately the day will end and the sun will rise again on a much brighter heart and lighter spirit.
After all, you are home and surrounded by love.
Did you suffer the baby blues?
I had a very short and clear fit of baby blues with both my kids. With #2 I was able to recognize it and it went away after shutting myself and my new nursling away for the afternoon and watching a pile of TV in peace.
With my first it hit along side rock hard engorgement (and a baby who had just finally learned to latch) and the weekend closing of my doctor’s office.
I did mildly with my first two, Miss G and Master S…. but they hit me very hard with Master J – like clockwork for me – day 3…. It ended up becoming quite sever PND and seven years later it seems now clinical depression…. The key for me is recognising that it is a genetic disposition in my family and knowing what my limits and instigators are. xxx
A memory that always brings a smile to my face is of a midwife who cared for me after I had my first child. She always had a small box of tissues in her dress pocket and when I asked why she smiled serenely and replied “Oh you will find out pretty quickly”.
They were of course on hand to dole out when a crying jag hit a Mum, she had to use them quite frequently.
This makes me smile because it demonstrates just how alike we can all be.
I keep trying to compost a meaningful comment… but they all sound like crap… so I’ll just send my love and sincere wish I was closer.
I never had full-blown blues, but I do remember a few days after having our first my husband jovially asked how I felt about my first 100 hours of being a mom. I simply melted into tears and said, “I’m so tired!”
Your daughters make a beautiful pair! Congrats!
Only for about 6 weeks 🙁 I was sure that if I’d lived in a village in Africa 200 years ago, my baby would have died in childbirth, or of starvation, or of having a mum who cried all the time. Thank goodness for Mothers’ Group! It was my saviour from almost certain post-natal depression. It’s amazing what a supportive group of women can achieve.
Enjoyed the post! I added your link to my recent post on postpartum depression! If you want to check it out:
http://kimscounselingcorner.com/2012/05/01/being-prepared-for-postpartum-emotions-of-mom-and-dad/
Congratulations on your beautiful girls – such happy news.
You may cry because your house is soooo noisy and cluttered with toys, books and baby gear, compared to the relative quite and minimalism of your hospital room. And no one brings you food every couple of hours….
Oh yes, I remember my baby blues days vividly. I remember feeling completely overwhelmed by this uncontrollable need to cry. Then I would cry more because I felt guilty for crying.
It was certainly unfortunate that I required an emergency c-section. But in my eyes, if anything good came out of it, it meant I was in hospital a few days longer so my baby blue days didn’t coincide with coming home.
I’m so impressed that through your baby blues and sleep deprivation you’ve still managed to put together such a coherent and articulate post. Like myself, I bet many mums found it reassuring to read.
Christine, I had my first baby the day before AJ was born. I’ve cried over nothing most evenings since. Last night my husband played me the song ‘Mama hold my hand’ by Aloe Blacc, which prior to the birth of my daughter I thought was a bit daggy…as soon as the first couple of bars played my eyes welled up and by the end I was bawling. My husband was totally bewildered.
In addition, I’ve cried because I love my new daughter so much. I’ve cried because my husband ran me a bath, and it was exactly the right temperature. I’ve cried because having a child makes me feel so much more vulnerable. I’ve cried because the dinner my Mum brought me was so good. I’ve cried over all the messages of congratulations. I’ve cried over the photos of my daughter as a newborn because she’s already grown so much….
I think I might have the baby blues. I hope they go away!
50 plus years ago I don’t think we even knew about the baby blues….you just went home and got on with life as best you could. Strangely enough though something similar hit me when my son (my second child) was about 2 years old. Crying for no reason…..sweeping the floor and sudden tears and that type of thing. Visited my GP and he said it was normal ‘cos young mothers worried about what would happen to their little ones if something happened to the mother (me). I guess that is pretty normal too so perhaps my ‘baby blues’ came on later in life.
Christie I hope you will soon be feeling your happy self again but let the tears flow if you feel they have to…much better than trying not to cry causing tension which helps nobody. As you say you are surrounded by love inside and outside your home so lap that up and be happy.
I can relate to point #2 above SO well Christie. I returned home from memory on day 4 and felt so overwhelmed and exhausted. Gradually, things settled down but I didn’t have any visitors to our house except for immediate family for about two weeks as I just didn’t feel up to it with the way I was so teary and emotional and tired 🙂
I bawled and bawled. Sometimes I still bawling.
Hope you’re doing well, Christie. Been thinking of you and the newbie!
x
Oh Christie, my heart goes out to you. Take it easy and don’t feel that you have to do everything perfectly. Just enjoy your beautiful family (as much as the sleep deprivation will allow you) and take each day as it comes. Let me know if I can help in any way. xx
My “baby blues” turned into full-blown PND, and it is still something that I (and my family) struggle with. But we are learning to deal with it and hopefully one day I will be able to put it all behind me 🙂
I can’t remember if it was day 3 or day 4 but WHOA I went cuckoo! I was a blathering mess and wouldn’t let hubby leave me alone even to get a bite to eat. Then when we returned home the smallest thing set me off into tears. Ahhh, to think I might do it all again one day!
Thanks for bringing this issue out into the light.