This past weekend I took a deep, deep breath… and exhaled. I feel like I have been holding my breath for way too long.
I knew it would be a busy start to the year – Immy starting kindy, a book manuscript due, pregnant and along the way an impromptu kitchen renovation thrown in for good luck (what were we thinking?!?!)
Despite my second trimester feelings of invincibility, it has been a stretch, especially as I moved well and truly into the third trimester. And I have absolutely no interest in ever being that busy again.
The past three months have been less than perfect but we got through it. Immy loves kindy, the manuscript has been submitted, the kitchen is 9/10ths of the way there and we still (hopefully) have three or four weeks until we welcome our much anticipated, newest family member.
Thanks to bloggers like me who primarily focus on the positive, I know that it can sometimes feel like blogland is filled with perfect mothers who juggle it all without dropping a single ball but I can truly say that I dropped many balls during the past three months. I had too. To get through, I just had to compromise, accepting that I could not do everything, concentrating instead on what was the most important priority for each, individual moment in time. It was the only way I found to stay sane.
I can tell you that …
- I have not showered everyday. And many days I stayed in my pjs. All day.
- The living areas of our home are extremely dusty right now (as sort of happens when floors are being ripped up and walls torn down). Not the surfaces we eat off or sit upon but things like bookshelves and cabinets need some serious attention. The study door needs to remain firmly shut until I feel I can deal with it. The waiting-to-be-folded washing pile was out of control until Sunday just past. There is a lot of ‘stuff’ that need re-homing back to where it belongs. The nursery is still a completely blank canvas. My ironing board has been living in my lounge room for way too long (and somehow this is probably the one that bothers me most, go figure?)
- My hair is so overdue for a cut and colour that it is not funny. My fringe hangs past my nose and my roots no longer look like roots, instead it just looks like I have some sort of balayage effect going on with light ends!
- We are seriously overdue to catch up with a whole host of friends and family. I cannot tell you how many playdates and social events we have had to skip in the past three months.
- My email inbox is set to implode with messages requiring action (sorry if one of them is from you) and the blog has been left to wait more often than I would have liked.
These things have just had to wait. To get through I instead needed to concentrate on what was most important to us, things like…
- Prioritising the needs of our family of three and a half, not the chores or our stuff, both of which can wait.
- Immy getting off to kindy on each school day un-rushed, in a clean uniform and with a home packed lunchbox.
- Making sure that we all (but especially me) continued to eat and drink well. I have never drunk so much water in my life as I have these past few weeks. I tried to keep the cupboard well stocked with healthier snack choices and we have eaten quick and simple but fresh meals.
- Keeping the playroom and our bedrooms as sanctuaries away from the builders noise and mess so that we all had spaces to retreat to as we needed.
- Both Dad 101 and I love bombing the small girl whenever we can so that she has not felt my ‘absence’ as keenly.
- Setting small work goals for each day but keeping these flexible and not punishing myself when my goals were unreached.
- Resting whenever I needed to, which has been essential to being able to keep going.
And there is absolutely no way that I could have finished any of it without an incredible husband who has been going into work early so that he can come home early to help organise dinner, get the dishes done and get the small girl bathed and into bed, my parents who fed us when we had no kitchen, gave me somewhere to rest when the enormity of it all became to much, and helped out with Immy as much as they could, and a good friend who has been available at a moments notice to have Immy over to play with her girls when the going really got tough.
I am thankful for all that I have, the opportunities I have been given, the people in our lives… and now also, the time and space to breathe freely again.