Hospitable.
hospitable [ˈhɒspɪtəbəl hɒˈspɪt-]adj
1. welcoming to guests or strangers2. fond of entertaining
-The Free Dictionary
This morning we enjoyed a lovely morning with new(-ish) friends. Five lovely ladies had time for warm cuppas and a beautiful morning tea whilst five under 4 year olds played beautifully together.
As Immy and I walked home I realised that I must soon have these ladies round. That it is actually past my turn. The thought makes me nervous. I am just not naturally good at the whole hospitality caper. And these ladies have set the bar so high. Gorgeous, comfortable homes and wonderful (mostly) home baked goods t0 eat.
My house is generally a bit untidy, I am embarrassed if people just drop in. My cooking is hit and miss at the best of times and when it comes to baking, well, that doesn’t get much fancier than Immy and I giving a packet cake mix a whirl!
I wish I was better at the whole hospitality gig. I dream of having groups of friends around regularly for morning teas and (gasp!) even meals. I just wish I had inherited the gene for stress-free entertaining. And for the sake of my daughter and our little ‘family,’ I know that I need to lift my game. I need to feel comfortable welcoming others into our home and confident that they won’t go home with food poisoning!
But I seriously would love your help. If you are a hospitality goddess, what are your tips for easy entertaining? If you find it a challenge but persevere regardless, how do you do it? Believe me, I need all the help I can get 🙂
I'm more of a hermit than a socialiser and have to force myself to socialise. For the sake of my girls I do it because they need to learn social skills and sadly the best way to learn is to go out and spend time with other people.
One thing my sister in law taught me in the year we lived together is that cleaning up after visitors can always wait. While your visitors are at home enjoy their company and worry about the dishes later. It is great advice.
I also tend to prepare in advance, cut up fruit and have it ready on a platter in the fridge the morning before.
Set up the tea/coffee area with cups, spoons out beside the kettle, make sure the kettle is full of water before guests come over and that the tea bags, sugar and coffee are all full.
One of my girlfriends taught me to hide all the mess in my bedroom. I whip around in the morning with a laundry basket and fill it up with any mess/out of place stuff and then put it in my bedroom and lock the door. Out of sight out of mind.
And frankly if they are good friends then it doesn't matter the state of the house because they will love you regardless.
That said I do have one hard and fast must do – clean the toilet and handbasin. Especially important if toddlers are coming over because they put their little hands on everything and in their mouths.
I am no goddess and I don't even know if I do entertaining well – be everyone who comes (more than once) tell me how they love that they can relax in my home.
I relax – I am a relexed entertainer – keep it all simple. put away toys you don't want broken or that are messy. be selective of food (simple) if you've got heaps of kids coming.
Leave all cleaning up and tidying until they leave.
Then enjoy your guests and focus on them.
Have fun 🙂
Go with what you are comfortable with. If packet cakes are what you do then it should be good enough for your guests. Don't try to cook anything you haven't done before – too much stress. Make sure you don't include anything that high-risk allergy like nuts and strawberries. Remember, when it comes down to it, kids aren't too fussy so don't go overboard. Their mums aren't fussy either – a cuppa made by someone else is sometimes all it takes to put a smile on their faces. 🙂
We enjoyed our visit last week, just chatting was enough. xx
I warn people before they come to my place that I have made it messy so they will feel comfortable 🙂
And I have a killer recipe that knocks 'em dead every time. It's super easy, and everyone who tastes them wants the recipe.
http://www.creativegourmet.com.au/CustomContentRetrieve.aspx?ID=114981
One tip – I use self raising flour instead of plain and baking powder, it works fine. I've even substituted soy milk instead of cow, and it still works.
Good luck, the main killer of hospitality is stress. And those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind.
Oh dear I thought I was the bad non-entertainer in the family but it seems you have inherited that gene. I am so sorry 'cos I know just how you feel about entertaining, especially 'newish' friends who seem to have it all going for them. I was bought up in a house where there were few visitors, apart from my brother and his wife, so I never learned 'how to do it' and mum was a terrific scone and pastry maker so could run things up in minutes if anyone should be coming. Wish I could. No confidence is my problem but try not to let it be yours.
I always made a good boiled fruit cake which are pretty well sure to turn out well and cookies of different kinds are good. Actually the old Golden Wattle cookbook has so many good basic recipes that are foolproof (that is if you can lay your hands on one…perhaps try eBay).
With old friends (like Amanda) they come to see you and not what you have etc. etc. but I can understand what you are saying. With people you don't know all that well…..sound advice about being yourself and I love the idea of just hiding the 'mess', and preparing in advance. A must.
You will manage very well as you are a people person which is most important I think.
I do the hide it in the bedroom tidy up too. If the untidiness is toys and it's kids coming around then I don't think it should matter. I do agree with Marita about bathrooms and toilets though (I'm less fastidious about this than my husband admittedly).
And I am a woman scared of baking. It never comes out right. Until today. Friands are my new best friend. Easy and will impress. If you feel you need to. Again, I think Marita is on a winner with the fruit platter. asy, tasy, and you are looking after everyone's waistline LOL
I hide the mess in the bedroom as well – and was hugely embarrassed when someone put their handbag on our bed (without my permission!) during a party. Packet mixes are always a winner here – and you can always jazz them up with fruit or choc chips. Anyway, like everyone has said – keep it simple. People come to see you, not your home.
There is a lovely book called The Cake Mix doctor that has all kinds of additions you can add to cake mixes or cupcakes to make them delicious.
I have a standard 'menu' in my head of what kind of food i'll offer – two fruits, cheese, and a baked good,juice, milk, tea, and coffee.
As far as cleaning, i do certain things every day so that if someone stops by, i'm not embarrassed by dirty boxes or overflowing cat boxes or dishes in the sink.
Good luck!
Thank you for all the tips so far. I am loving some of the easy recipe and food suggestions and the 'essentials' cleaning list. And I must get better at the little bit each day so if someone stops by I am not embarrassed 🙂
I actually like going to people's houses that are a bit untidy because they make me feel that it is okay to not stress the mess when I have people over. I also take it as a bit of a compliment – that they feel comfortable enough not to put their best foot forward, iykwim.
Whenever I bake a cake, I bake two and pop one in the freezer. Banana cakes or muffins are great for this. And then I just cut up some fruit.
I don't care what someone puts in front of me when I visit – I am just so appreciative that I didn't have to make it, or won't have to wash it up afterwards – and that the kids are off playing and I get to have a lovely chat.
I am absolutely not a hospitality goddess, and I freak out at the thought of it too! lol
I do know that a lot of mums have their own little 'cheats' or 'hacks' if you will for these sorts of things.
It also helps if you have a few things up your sleeve that you know you cook really well, and use those. lol
I don't feel like I'm a good entertainer either, in terms of making people feel comfortable in my home. But I do have a baking recipe you should try, would be could to go with morning tea. People *rave* about these, and the last time I made them I got accused of buying them somewhere and pretending I made them lol. When I've made them, exactly according to the recipe, they look even better than in that picture, the recipe makes *tons* of crumb for the tops. (Oh, and if you don't have buttermilk, just put a tablespoon of vinegar in a measuring cup and fill up to the cup line with milk and let it sit while you get everything else ready).
http://heritageschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2009/10/apple-pie-muffins-from-taste-of-home.html
My #1 fav. baked good is ABC Muffins (Apple, Banana and choc chip). I usually cook up huge batch and freeze them. The recipe is on my blog if you would like I can send you the link.
My microwave thankfully has a 'reheat muffins' setting so I can easily reheat them when visitors come over.
Embarrassingly I'm really really bad with microwaves, lost count of the number I've set fire to now. I know people say they are easier to use than ovens but me I prefer my oven, it has not caught fire…yet… touch wood.
I love to entertain but I soon realised that with having tow girls it was going to be a little difficult. I came up with a few things I knew I could do quickly whenever we had guests.
Tea Cups – These little treats don't require cooking just construction. Every time I make them I hear a "wow" and they are sooooo easy to make. They are made with tic toc biscuits, marshmellows, icing, musk lifesavers, freckles.
Cupcakes – I don't muck around with icing. I use Betty Crocker's ready made frosting which is found in the cake isle of the supermarket. Always keep some on hand! The recipe I use doesn't require anything other than tipping all the ingredients in and mixing them until combined, then baking. Simple!
Fruit Sticks – these look so great and colourful and are easy to assemble. I always buy a small tub of interesting yoghurt like Lemon Cheesecake Yoghurt for guests to dip their fruit sticks in. Yummy!
Popcorn – kids love popcorn. Sometimes I do up lovely bags (white with ribbbon) of popcorn and serve in a big bowl. The kids sit nicely while they eat from their own little bag. Easy!
Entertaining at morning tea means it is easier to prepare. Tea + coffee is the thing I hate making so I do little tea jingler/ infusers that I made. Just buy them at home shops and add do-dads off keyrings to make them special. Will post some pics for you to see sometime.
Drinks – I stole this idea from a friend. Add frozen raspberries to lemonade. Just buy cheap lemonade. When you put the raspberries in they fizz. This is a great one for Immy to help with. The longer the raspberries stay in the pinker the lemonade turns. So lovely!
Hope these help! Any of the above recipes are on my blog. http://www.busybrissymum.blogspot.com
Have fun!
People are surprised that I don't enjoy entertaining. i love to have a beautiful home but that is really more for us. Over the years I have learned to not push yourself. I don't cook much so either buy some treats for the afternoon tea or prepare before hand. A friend also told me once to let your visitors help- it makes them feel more comfortable rather than standing around.
Concentrate on doing the things you do enjoy- so for me it is setting the table and prettying up the house. But you might enjoy organising some great activities for the kids & then they will always want to go to Immy's house.
Just be true to you who are and then it is fun:)
As others have said, I certainly wouldn't call myself a hospitaility goddess, but my tips are:
*Have one recipe (for something sweet) that you practice over and over and can do REALLY well. People don't mind eating the same cake/ biscuits/ pie when they come over if it is yummy.
*Don't bother about icing a cake – sprinking it with icing sugar is in fashion anyway
*If you REALLY don't bake, buy a block of chocolate and some fresh fruit (strawberries, bananas, etc) and arrange on a platter (or you could melt the chocolate with a little bit of cream or milk and do a fondue type thing)
*Try to clean up as you go at home as much as possible. I generally only have a couple of toy sets out at once, so they are easy to put away. We do most craft/ painting etc outside to limit mess (+ more space there anyway).
*Remember that no-one looks at your house as closely as you do. It is amazing how I am really conscious of my own space, but don't even notice if my friends' houses are messy unless they point it out and keep apologising!
Hope that helps!
I can totally relate to this, Christie! I am much the same. When I'm pushed for time and I have a playdate on, I get out a big plastic storage box and use it as a clutter bucket. I put the piles of stuff on our table or benchtops in there and tuck it away until afterwards. I always make sure the toilet and bathroom is clean, and vaccuum in case there are young ones crawling around on the floor.
As for cooking, the 4 Ingredients recipe books are amazing for quick and simple food ideas. If you find a good biscuit recipe you like, make a double batch and store balls of uncooked cookie dough in the freezer. You can then bake on demand if people come over without warning.
We have people over all the time. Friends and visitors appreciate the effort to have them around and don't worry too much about the house.
I have some meals frozen so I can whip those out. Sometimes I'll bake goodies in front the guests so we can all eat it.
But it's mostly about the conversation and the play. Learn to feel comfortable with the state of how you live (and never apologise), and you'll attract others who are just wanting to spend time with yoU!
I entertain regularly (I'm sure that doesn't surprise you 😉 ) but basically to make my life easier I:
FOOD
Make as much as I can in advance – example – I made some quiches – 1 veggo, 1 lorraine and some mini quiches for kids the day before. You could buy them from Michel's. No-one would care!
Quiches are fab in cooler weather cold with a salad or in winter on their own or with salad if you really want.
By doing the food in advance, that is one huge thing to stop worrying about.. you can get onto the house-stuff.
I also offer something sweet like a nice little chocolate or gelato in hot weather as a treat.
Kids respond to fruit skewers, decorate your own milk arrowroots with icing and sprinkles – that kind of stuff.
HOUSEWORK
– Floors – do these the night before when immy is in bed. Vacuum whilst she eats breakfast.
– Bathrooms – day before.
– Surfaces & tidy – day before and quick go-over on the day.
All in all – it's just preparation – leaving things to the last minute in your situation may make the experience traumatic…
Let us know how you go 🙂
Wow I could have written this post … having people over is stressful for me and I really have to push myself to do it and I am so far from a domestic goddess the thought of people dropping in unannounced is frightening LOL.
Main Meal: Buy a slow cooker!!! It works wonders as all you have to do is put everything in it and leave it for a few and come dinner time it is ready, you can buy recipe bases really cheaply, plus you can do roasts in it (vegies and all) and when people come over you can pretend you were slaving over the stove all day when really you weren't.
Drinks: coffee and tea are fine for winter and when ever but in summer if you want to do something differently take a jug of water chuck in some ice cubes and a few slices of lemon, it looks very nice and tastes very refreshing!
Desert: Here is a really quick microwave self saucing chocolate pudding recipe: In a bowl combine: 1 cup SR flour, 3/4cup cocoa, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1/2 cup milk, 30g melted margarine/butter of 1/3 veg/sunflour oil, 1 teaspoon vanilla essence and 1 egg mix to a smooth paste place in a 2-3 litre mircrowave dish (or casserole dish). Then in a jub combine the following: 3/4 cup brown sugar, 2 table spoons cocoa and 1 1/4 cups hot water mix until combined, pour over pudding mix. Microwave on high for 8 minutes and serve warm with cream or ice cream! This is really nice and Immy can help 🙂
Hope these help,
Erin 🙂
I think you must be talking about me!!??
You don't always have to have people to your house. Invite them on a picnic and you organise where and when and take the morning tea. That way you don't have to stress about cleaning up before or after!
Sometimes the thought of cleaning up after is more of a turnoff as by then the fun is all over!!
Thanks once again for all your ideas,
Anna