Travelling with Babies: The Kindness of Strangers

Waiting to check in, let’s hope she stays like this!

I have had occasion to fly with both of my girls from a young age (in fact they both first flew at 9 weeks), either to visit family, on holidays or for work. Travelling long distances with babies and small children at any time can be stressful but especially within the confines of an aeroplane, surrounded by strangers, some of whom glared at you as you boarded with a babe in arms or toddler by the hand.

I know the pain of furiously trying to resettle a tired baby as she grumpily awoke from sleep and made her displeasure loudly known every forty minutes for the duration of a five hour night flight. I have eaten a meal within such a confined space that the tray table cannot even lay flat whilst the baby is sitting on my lap. I have changed the world’s worst nappy on the world’s tiniest baby change table. I have paced up and down the tiny space near the galley trying to settle a fractious toddler. I have struggled to juggle the baby and cabin bag as I attempt to stuff one of them into a tiny, awkward space in the overhead locker 😉

But I also have known the kindness of strangers. And it is this which can make all of the difference to parents travelling with small children.

Fortunately for me, I met quite a few kind strangers on a recent trip to Sydney, which was truly a blessing in disguise given that I was travelling and parenting solo with AJ. Although I am quite sure that they will never read this post today I want to say thank you to just a few of those strangers as I believe there are lessons we can all learn from their kind actions.

Thank you to the two kindest co-passengers I have ever known who found themselves as the bread in a mama and baby sandwich on our flight to Sydney. With no bassinet row on the plane and barely enough room for myself and a nine week old baby, these wonderful ladies did not hesitate to help get things out of the overhead lockers for me, offered for me to put my food and drinks (and even rubbish once I was done) on their tray tables as the space was so tight, were happy to hold the baby and chatted to me (might not seem a big thing but I usually sleep on flights which is hard to do with a small baby to watch over so it was nice to have lovely people to talk to).

Thank you to the lovely crew member on my return flight, Paola, who went out of her way to make arrangements for AJ and I to be moved to sit in the bassinet row (even though we had been told we were in the bassinet row prior to leaving home and at check in). And to the kind gentleman who agreed to swap seat with me so that I could be moved.

To Paola’s fellow crew members who did not hesitate to watch the baby so I could use the bathroom, were happy for me to pace their space near the galley so that I could resettle her and even snuck me a yummy treat towards the end of the flight. A kind crew can make all the difference to a mama’s (and therefore baby’s) stress levels and the crew on the flight over to Sydney were no where near as approachable.

Also to the kind security officer who empathised with me having to remove a sleeping AJ from the baby carrier for us to walk through the security scanner (what are those hand held scanning thingos for if not to swipe over mummas with babies in cloth baby carriers with metal rings???), who put out a padded baby change mat for her to lie on while I put the carrier back on and resettled AJ. His counterpart on the other end of our journey could not have been less interested in helping.

To fellow passengers who smiled warmly or chatted to us, offered for us to use the on board bathroom first or helped with cabin bags, thank you.

I don’t think travelling with babies and toddlers is ever really easy or stress free. And I for one can tell those fellow travellers who get frustrated with a crying baby or mischievous toddler, that it is likely that their parent is doing everything they can to keep their little one calm and settled!

Have you ever flown with a baby or young toddler? What made the experience easier (or harder) for you?

18 Comments

  1. Christie Harris says:

    I recently had a wonderful experience travelling solo with my 9 month old son! I didn’t take a stroller, and I’m not a baby-wearer, so I approached the Virginblue service desk at Adelaide Airport to ask about a loan stroller to use in the terminal. The lovely lady who helped me sympathised that they didn’t actually have them anymore, and checked us in on the spot so I wouldn’t have to queue up for 20 mins holding a bag and a 10kg+ baby. Completely made my trip! I started out so relaxed that the rest of it was a dream. Baby slept on my lap through the entire hour-long trip to Melbourne, and woke smiling at the end.
    It’s amazing how a simple pleasant experience can make such a difference.

    1. You are so right, Christie, it is the smallest of kind actions that can make all the difference and I was so pleased to have so many positive interactions on my most recent trip.

  2. Im about to embark on a holiday from Brisbane to Melbourne for a week with my 8 month old baby girl. I’ll be flying down with a friend but flying home on my own. And I’m very scared about it! I’ll have the suitcase, pram, carry on, and my baby to carry all at once. I’m laying awake at night worried about the logistical nightmare I’m about to have. I’m scared I’ll be given a middle seat, I’m worried about the filthy looks that non parents will give me, I’m worried about the tight tiny space (as I’m a larger woman) and I’m worried about getting there in one piece. But reading your article has made me feel a little better. I hope to whoever is up there that I have helpful people around me because I can’t explain how stressed I will probably be. Thanks for writing this, you’ve actually made me feel a lot better! 🙂

    1. My advice would be to smile a lot, be friendly and don’t be afraid to accept help and to ask for help from the airline staff. I hope you have a wonderfully positive experience and a great holiday, Erin 🙂

  3. Super Sarah says:

    I have travelled a lot with both my girls, both as a solo parent and as a family. Amy has travelled from the UK to South Africa and from South Africa to Aus and back a few times from aged 4 months up to 4 years. I flew solo with Stella to South Africa when she was 4 months old and that was my best travel experience so far, even travelling on my own. As a tired, harrassed mum, a 14 hour flight with a baby who woke frequently but settled quickly and breastfed like a dream, well it was a bit like a spa retreat for me to be honest! I have long since overcome my issues about travelling with children, I am always polite and friendly to people, even when they are rolling their eyes at my squawking baby. I always ask for help when I need it and I don’t over apologise, its not my fault if someone’s flight is inconvenienced by my baby, I do my best to keep my children contained, happy and settled but sometimes the best made plans go astray and an overtired child will cry when their ears are sore. I find being prepared for every eventuality makes me feel more in control and therefore more relaxed and my children pick up on that. However, ask me in a few months time when we are all flying to South Africa, Stella aged 3 and a half, Amy aged 6 and a half!

    1. I love your tips, Sarah, and I agree that being prepared is key. Though I was so over-prepared for this last trip that my hand luggage was bulging. And, of course, I didn’t need most of what I had packed.

  4. kylie swan says:

    we recently travelled to and from cairns with our 3 children, two older ones and a 2 year old. The lady in the seat behind me commented when we put the seat back so miss 2 could sleep, stating ‘its bad enough we have to sit with children then they out the seat back” really did want to use some choice words with her. We paid for the fair we had every right. We also had a solo mother of a very newborn baby. We were disgusted that no one helped her with her carry on when she was clearly struggling. Our hands were as full as hers. So I am glad to hear that others have had nicer experiences when travelling with children.

  5. We went to the U.S. To visit family when our daughter was 1. All she wanted to do was run around, the bassinet was really too small to safely hold her if she was anything other than dead asleep and every time there was the smallest amount of turbulence on the way over there we had to get her out and put her in her seatbelt, therefore waking her up. We are going at the end of the year when she will be 3 and taking our son who will be 6 months. We are never using that airline again with small children.
    However coming home with QANTAS was the best experience! They were so kind, helpful and understanding. The (mostly middle aged male) flight crew were so helpful that our flight seemed to go very fast. They took pains to get water at the right temperature for her formulae bottle, helped us on and off the plane and even took her for a wander to give us a little break. Just wonderful!
    Going through Hong Kong airport was also great. Lots of great play spaces, family friendly facilities and people who let you jump queues if you had a small child so we didn’t have to struggle with her and the bags for long periods.
    Hopefully this Christmas will repeat the posotives!

  6. I’ve travelled to NZ solo with both of my girls (and will be doing it again in a couple of months). One tip I heard somewhere is to have a bundle of departure cards at home (obviously only relevant for international travel) so that you can fill out all the forms before you leave home. Such a hassle completing paperwork when you are juggling a baby and trying to keep an eye on a toddler/bigger kid who is prone to exploring…

  7. We flew with our twins when they were 3 months old. It was a nightmare getting to the gate with all of our things but actually on the flight, we were so lucky to be surrounded by very friendly and understanding passengers. We lucked out and the kiddos slept pretty much the entire flight but any time I needed to use the bathroom or whatever (get into my pump bag to get one of the expressed bags of milk), the people surrounding us were happy to oblige. One lady even held the bottle while I poured the milk into it! Thank you you angel! Also, because we have twins, my husband and I couldn’t sit in the same row and unfortunately, were not able to get seats directly across the aisle from each other. But one lady happily gave me her aisle seat across from my husband. To all the passengers out there without children, you cannot imagine how big of a difference even the smallest of kindnesses can make on a frazzled parent. Flying is not a joy for anyone so it’s understandable that you might cringe to see someone boarding with a fussy baby. Just know it isn’t any easier on the parent. So please go easy. 🙂

  8. hi there,
    We aree currently in Thailand with 3 young kids and we have had so much support from strangers all the way from Melbourne to KL and now to Chiang Mai. It is hard work most of the time but we are loving our holiday! Glad you had a good trip too x

  9. Pingback: Travelling with Babies: The Kindness of Strangers | Life Poem
  10. We travelled to remote northern Fiji recently as a family. 5 kids (2 of whom are autistic) plus a hubby on the Spectrum and one of the 5 was our 9 month old baby. We had seat mix ups too but also VERY friendly and accommodating staff along the way who wanted to help us. It was so greatly appreciated. I was on tenterhooks the whole time hoping neither of our ASD kids had a full blown meltdown and that the baby didn’t launch into a full blown rendition of I’m-hungry-tired-pooey-feed-me-now-or-else followed up by the solo performance of don’t-even-think-about-me-sleeping-on-this-flight.
    Thankfully, meltdowns were averted and baby not only didn’t scream everyone to insanity but actually slept on both flights.
    Thankful for small mercies I tell ya!
    Lusi 🙂

  11. The kindness of strangers is truly essential when traveling, especially with small children! A story like this makes me feel touched because it is nice to see the thoughtfulness within a stranger’s heart. I read stories just like this all the time on iamakindstranger.com and I think that your post would be a perfect addition to this kind of website. Thank you for brightening up my day 🙂

  12. Love to hear your adventures.
    I did a recent trip with my 5 month old and, as they do, she fell asleep just as i got to the airport. I just stacked the suitcases, stroller and baby sleeping in the capsule onto the trolley and pushed it all to the terminal. The oversized luggage staff were a bit surprised to see a baby still in it.

  13. My husband and I were just talking about this, as we just flew with our two little ones (2 yrs and 4 months) and our small dog. Some people went out of their way to help us and others looked at us like we disgusted them, like people with kids should just stay home and never venture out into the world. It’s amazing how much their attitudes either helped or hindered us. One security guard was so accommodating and made getting through the process easy and fast, while on the return trip the security person was downright mean and drug out the process for so long that both of my kids were a wreck. Thank goodness there seems to be more helpful/ patient people than not! 🙂

  14. Aw, that’s really sweet. That makes me happy to hear. There can be such tension in traveling, it’s nice to know kind people are still around. I keep thinking I would like to be the kind person on my next trip who makes another parent feel at ease.

  15. After 2 flights today, I agree the kindness of strangers makes all the difference. I’m still not sure why accepting that people fly as a family with their children seems like the final frontier- but then again maybe it is sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves (the guy across the aisle who I thought was scowling about being near a baby offered to hold her when I trying to sort things out, and got my bags down from the overhead locker- lovely) The day was topped off by none other than DWTS Tom Williams getting my very heavy suitcases off the carousel and on to my trolley!

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