Helping Children Adjust to Moving House
This post is by regular contributor Tricia Hogbin of Little Eco Footprints.
We’re moving house at the end of the year. The move will be associated with a lot of change for my five year old daughter. She’ll be finishing preschool and starting school, moving from an urban area to a rural one, leaving behind her friends (although thankfully they will still be within regular visiting distance) and making make new friends, and she’ll be moving from a home – into a shed.
Thankfully the shed-living is only temporary and we hope to have a ‘proper’ home built within a year or so.
I’m starting to think about how I can help my daughter adjust to all this change. I’ve identified a few strategies so far:
- Help her understand what is happening and when. I’m going to mark dates associated with the move on her wall calendar so that she can mark each day off until the move. Hopefully this will ensure there aren’t any unexpected surprises.
- Highlight the positives. I’ve been highlighting the positives associated with the move and have been talking about the adventures we will have in our new neighbourhood.
- Familiarise her with the new property and neighbourhood. We’ll thankfully have plenty of time to visit our new property and the neighbourhood before the move. We’ll also try to meet some of the local kids as soon as possible.
- Establish an outdoor play space at the new property. Creating a natural playground area is high on our list of priorities and we plan to have the area established before we move in. There’s already an old swing set which we’ll repair and we’ll add a tree swing, a balance beam, picnic table and eventually a tree house. This will be a familiar space she can retreat to during the chaos of the move.
- Encourage her ‘city’ friends to visit. We plan to have regular parties and camping weekends at our property to encourage our daughter’s friends and their families to visit. We’re excited about the opportunities for natural and creative play our new property and neighbourhood will provide and are keen to share these with friends.
Have your children moved house or neighbourhood? How did you help them adjust?
As a defence family, we move alot. I always talk about it alot. Show photos if I can.
We always have a fairwell and allow the kids to watch their stuff being packed.
We go through the empty house and make sure nothing is left behind with the kids.
They get to semi pick their new room.
Unpack their stuff first.
Write letter to the old friends.
Teach the new address as it is now our home. (even though my oldest can only remember the street name that is good enough)
This time as my son is into Postman Pat. All of his boxes got a special Postman Pat stamp with the new address so he knew how they were getting to the new location.
I like the idea of a farewell Kylie and I LOVE the Postman Pat stamp. I think my daughter would like that, Or at the very least having her write our new address on her boxes will help her remember her new address. Thanks for the tips Kylie.
After the old house s empty give her a chance to walk through and say goodbye. With toddlers this is especially important. They need to see that all their things have been packed up and then go to the new home and see that their things are there. Oftentimes they’ll insist that the new place is not where they live and you can tell them, “see there’s your rocket, bed, etc” to help them understand. It sounds like your in for an exciting adventure!
I like the idea of making sure we show her the empty house Caryn. Many of her belongings will be in storage for a while so it will be good for her to be reassured that we havn’t left nything behind.
First she moved at age of 2 to a different country, then in the age of 3 she moved again to another hiuse nearbym at the age of 4 she will have to move again. After first move i soent a lot of time with her together, sitting in lap, reading books, assuring all the stuff is here, with the 2nd move we visited the neighbourhood before, i did not telk why, just made her love the surroundinngs and then suddenly it appeared also the place fkr new house, for the third time.. I wanted to start preparing her, was talking about that most important thing is to be together, she interrupted me with a rekaxed: when do we move, mummy? 🙂
Thanks Liga – yes I think talking to them about everything is the most important. It’s amazing how resilient kids are.
I moved a lot as a kid, those younger years are much easier times to shift. Little kids are generally nicer than bigger kids and will bring a new kid into the fold. A perfect time to shift when starting school, everything will be new for everyone, and there will be plenty of other kids who will be looking to make friends. I think the city to the country shift is much easier than the reverse at this age. I was shocked by how unfriendly people could be in the city. A friend who spent years living in a shed before the house was finally built said they were the best years of their life.
Yes – we are pleased with the ‘starting school timing’. I like that your friend thought living in the shed were the best years of her life…..I must admit i’m looking forward to living with very little ‘stuff’.
Really great tips. I agree the outdoor play space is key…kids tend to be enthralled with them 🙂
We recently wrote about moving too. It’s such an important topic–the more methods for helping parents and kids ease the moving transition the better!! http://excited2learn.com/blog/moving-with-kids-tips-to-ease-this-transition/
A memory book would be a family activity that would not only create an amazing keep sake but you also could discover your child’s most favorite persons, places, or things. Introduce the idea of making a photo collection of all things special. Create a list of places or people to visit. It may include favorite sliding board or corner of the children’s library or it may be under a special tree. Let your child direct the experience of what she saw as special. Your job is to listen and write the memories she shares. These then can be added with the photos later. You can keep the book simple or fancy just keep it all child driven. After the move this will be a lovely way for her to communicate with you about her ‘homesickness’ for all things left behind. At 5 she may not be able to tell you that she is feeling sad but when she pulls out this book you’ll know she may want to sit quietly with you or have a chance to reminisce about the good old days. This process of ‘remember when’ will help in the emotional parting with her past and the opening her heart to new friends and adventures. Best wishes!
Glad to see this guide up! The first time that you experience moving homes can be either extremely exciting or terrifyying depending on the people around you and especially for the kids with the strange moving and removals company around.